Donovan Fourie Blog: I think I’ve solved the grid girls dilemma
In January this year, the people that put together those Formula One thingy races announced that they will be banning grid girls. With the #MeToo campaign, the war on objectifying ladies and the various feminist groups, a bunch ladies that look good in stretchy outfits are now out of a job.
I have not watched a single F1 race this year on account of having a life far too interesting to be wasted on overpaid cry babies in expensive go-carts spending more than hour circulating a track so that the fastest car can win. I believe that Formula One bosses have put a stern end to people gawking at grid girls, and have instead given the gawking people grid children. I don’t understand F1 culture, and I try to remain opened minded, but quite frankly I disapprove.
MotoGP fans thankfully prefer adult girls, and so we still see the feminine form on our grids. Although there are no immediate plans to change this, Dorna will still be getting pressure from the various anti-grid girl groups. Being a thorough MotoGP nerd, I confess that when the grid is on telly, I spend most of this time looking at the various bikes, looking at what the technicians are fiddling with and observing the riders to see what I can learn. I’m sure the ladies look lovely and glamorous, but for me they sort of fade into the background – sorry girls.
Saying that, I believe that there are people who are somehow able to see through the brilliance that is MotoGP machinery and take note of the ladies. I’m not sure how, but I believe people are able to do this, and I’m assured that the ladies add a good deal of sparkle to the grid.
So we have the die-hard fans of tradition and the fans of the attraction of ladies versus the groups calling this the objectifying of women (notice that these groups always use the term “women” and not “ladies” – I’ve always thought this was hugely disrespectful). If you ban grid girls or keep them, you will always piss off someone. However, I think I’ve found a solution that will please everyone.
Replace the grid girls with a bunch of cute puppies. Let each rider hold a fluffy bundle of joy while they’re on the grid. You can even make them wear little puppy jerseys with the sponsors’ logo on them to keep the bill payers happy.
The real genius behind this move is that everyone loves puppies. Especially ladies. And the sort of ladies that hang around MotoGP riders tend to be somewhat joyous on the eyes. And make sure that the races take place during hot periods of the year, and the chances are great that the clothing on these free will ladies will be less modest.
This is genuinely a win-win – the lobbyist can rest assured that no one is paying ladies to be gawked at, ladies get cute puppies to coo over, the MotoGP bosses look like heroes and the fans of grid girls get their dose of eye candy.
I’ll phone Carmelo and tell him the good news.